The Way I Was Raised

I learned a lot from the way I was raised, as do we all, but I get a lot of questions about my childhood so I decided to share my experiences.

I don’t know why I get such a big reaction whenever I tell people how I was raised. I always thought I had a pretty normal childhood. I was raised on a cul-de-sac in a medium sized house in the suburbs with my two parents (okay, so that wasn’t normal, I was the only kid in my third grade class living with my married biological parents) and brother and a dog and a cat. I took the bus to school every day and came home and had a snack and did my homework and watched Gilligan’s Island and the Brady Bunch and went outside to play if it was nice or if my mom was tired of us being in the house. But two words make people laugh, guffaw in disbelief, stare at me with mouth agape and say funny things like, “But you seem so normal.” I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness. When that comes out you’d think I admitted to being raised by wolves or carnies. I’ve hushed a room full of people with those words on more than one occasion. Other people open with, “I never knew my dad and was raised by my single mom and/or grandmother” (heard that one a million times!) or “I was mostly raised in Germany because my dad was in the army” (nice, no drinking age, right?) or even, “When I was little we lived in a hippy commune in central Oregon” (so your parents ate a lot of ‘shrooms? explains a lot). But in my small quiet voice the words ‘Jehovah’s Witness’ somehow carry throughout, other conversations halt, and eyes turn to me. Then the questions start. So, I’ve decided to tell the real story of what it’s like to be a part of this group. No holds barred, closet open, coming clean.

Let’s first clarify that being raised that way doesn’t define me. I can’t seem to get that through people’s heads sometimes. That helped shape me as a person, but like any other childhood experiences there’s so much more to it than that. Nature vs. nurture, genetics vs. environment, what makes any of us who we are? I was born with inherent personality traits that would help shape and develop me into the person I’m still becoming. Just like anyone else. I find it interesting that people expect my religion to have defined me more than any other religion does anyone else. If you find out someone was Catholic or Jewish or even an Mormon or Buddhist, other than a few jokes about stereotypes or special underwear there’s not much to say, but say, “I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness” and watch people’s expressions change along with their view of you. I take that to mean that being a Witness affects people on a different level than other religions, and I find that fascinating (like maybe there’s something to it).

Where to start? Today I’ll start with the first question I usually get, which seems odd to me, is if it was ‘weird’ not celebrating the holidays. I find it odd that that’s the first thing that pops into people’s minds. But at least that’s an easy answer: I was a self-righteous little ‘poop-stirrer’ who liked to be different and entertained myself by putting people down who DID celebrate holidays. Oh, so you think that star on top of the tree led the wise men to Jesus? Look it up, it’s kinda evil. Everyone pushing and shoving in the shopping malls in December are obnoxiously rude because it’s a Christian holiday? Opposite! (I know, I worked retail, no way that’s true Christian behavior). We got the same days off school, only we didn’t have to worry about travelling to some boring family reunion or our parents arguing about how much to spend/who to buy for. Instead we often got to go to the beach for a couple nights and just have fun since the hotels were cheap and empty that time of year. Yeah it was hard coming back to school after Holiday break and seeing everyone in their expensive new clothes or seeing someone in a new Cabriolet they got for their birthday, but my parents didn’t have much money so I wouldn’t have got the fancy expensive gifts my classmates got anyway. Then every once in a while I’d come to school and tell people about my new bicycle or computer and people would say, “Why? it wasn’t Christmas, was it your birthday? and I’d say, “No, it was just because.” And they’d look at me all sad and wonder why they didn’t get anything ‘just because’ (greedy idiots). So that’s how I feel about holidays, especially after working holiday season in retail. What a relief I don’t have to worry about it!