Just Another Marvelous Monday

For some reason today I’m feeling an increased sense of accomplishment and desire to make things happen. Instead of watching crap tv while I had my coffee, I started my schoolwork right away. I got through a lot of information, had a crazy healthy smoothie, made a healthy lunch (with a ton of veggies) with more than enough leftovers for yummy healthy dinner options, I tidied up and organized a few things, prepped my running items, and still have time to spare before my 4:15 appt. I had determined last week that I needed to treat the days I am not at the ad office as work days instead of three extra lazy Sundays a week. But I’ve ‘decided’ things like that before without following through. So what’s different now? I’m over halfway through my studies at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. I have a peer coach I’m answering to and coaching. I have a running partner to meet up with at a definite time. After spending 15 years or so at stressful jobs (the last five years almost sending me over the edge) maybe it just took me 4 months of self indulgence and relaxation to recuperate before I could focus on making ME happen. I’ve made drastic changes in my primary food, namely my spiritual practice, my career choices and my education. I’ve made a conscious effort to limit negativity in my life, encouraging my friends to focus on the positive, changing communication options affecting my attitude and focus. I’ve had great conversations in the last week alone with a couple friends who are boldly making moves to focus on the positive even though life may have recently thrown them lemons (really, really rotten lemons). I’ve even asked people for help, which is something I was not raised to do.Through school and my own research I’ve learned of people who made things happen because they determined what was important in their lives and followed through instead of having that dictated to them. I know I can make good things happen for me, but not if I’m making only half-hearted attempts at changing what is not working. I’m not sure which of the above has made me feel so much more different today than I have in a long time (hell, maybe it’s just that the sun is out and the days are visibly getting longer!) and part of me says not to care, just to run with it. I’m just afraid that if I don’t know what’s making it work, it’s not going to continue. Ooops, shut up old, negative, defeatist attitude! At this point I don’t think it matters, what matters is that I’m feeling completely different inside than I have in a long time. It’s only 3:15 pm and I’ve accomplished a lot today and that’s made me feel so great that I feel like getting even more done. I even feel like tackling my taxes!! So, here’s what is going to happen:

1.  I’m going to keep up with my exercise. Why? When I walk or run outside, I love the feeling I get of freedom and the beautiful sights of nature mixed into my beautiful city. I love knowing that I’m getting stronger with each swing of the kettlebell.
2.  I’m going to continue my healthy eating. Why? I really do feel better and hurt less when I eat right, my clothes fit better and my stomach doesn’t make weird noises during conference calls.
3.  I’m going to keep up with my schoolwork. Why? It’s actually REALLY interesting and the sooner I can make a career out of what I’m learning, the sooner I can earn $$$$$$!
4.  I’m going to do my taxes. Why? Hmmm, that’s a hard one...hey, maybe I’ll get a refund!!
5.  I’M GOING TO MEXICO WITH MY LOVING HUSBAND AND WONDERFUL FRIENDS! Why? I can’t keep putting off a trip I’ve dreamed about for two years (since returning from Mexico LAST time) because I’m so worried about finances. I make the plans and then be sure I earn the dough. and Why else? SUN, SAND, SEA with my Love and what else does there need to be?

Sometimes you have to scare yourself

For years now I’ve been talking about my ‘career’ vs. my  ‘job’ because I wanted to do so many other things. I want to study nutrition, I want to write, I want to make jewelry, I want to sew, I want to manage the husband’s art business, and I’ve done none of it because I have had jobs that suck the life out of me and I have nothing left at the end of the day to follow through on my creative side or my passions or even take care of myself physically. Every week for the past I don’t know how long, I’ve made a list of things I’m going to do that week, including catching up on my blogs, working on a book, catching up on schoolwork, sewing something, doing other things that could be a decent income, or even making healthy meals for the week, and I do none of it because all I want to do is sleep, watch a movie or read a book or do anything really that will get my mind off my day job. So I quit. September 28 will be my last day. It’s really scary because I have to do something to pay the bills, but maybe forcing myself to do it is the key. There’s no sleeping 12 hours a night and watching old musicals all day when you have to think up ways to get money in the bank. Scary, but exciting at the same time. So Craft Making, Jewelry Designing, Health Coaching, Artist managing and perhaps even Can Collecting Rachel is on to the next phase!

Happy Kids Don't Walk

Every noticed that? They skip, jump, dance, twirl, hop, gallop, etc… but rarely does a child just take one plain old step after the other when they are genuinely happy.  And if there’s a pond, puddle or fountain, they have to go through, in or over. I recently watched a little boy walking with his mom doing this funny little side step/hop thing back and forth with this huge grin on his face. It looked like they were just heading into the grocery store but he gave the impression he was thrilled just to BE. I love that.


C'mon, run through the fountain with me!

I’m going to take my cue from them and add a bit more bounce to my step. Maybe I’ll even skip now and then (once I find a good sports bra). If it’s true what they say, that portraying the emotion you want to feel on the outside can make you actually feel it on the inside, I’m going to plaster happy all over me. So if you see a woman skipping down the streets of Portland with her groceries, with a big goofy grin on her face, it just might be me.

Something I haven’t learned yet

When did it become such an important part of life to have a career? When I talk about my job dissatisfaction everyone wants to know my career goals. Used to be people just worked. Did what they had to do to put food on the table and a roof over their heads. Unless you were like, King, or something, your job didn’t rule your life. I mean, maybe it did in the sense that you were a butler or a blacksmith and you worked from early morning until late at night and jobs like that did basically define people, but when did it become necessary to have a successful career in order to find satisfaction in life? Maybe it’s just prevalent in the places I’ve worked? Maybe it’s a class thing? Is it just an US of A thing (I know there are places on the planet where people are satisfied with what they have as opposed to needing a big paycheck to afford the latest ‘stuff’)? Maybe growing up in a mix of lower and upper middle class people I’ve seen a disproportionate number of humans desperate to have a career to advance their social and material standing.  I’m really amazed at how people are dedicated to carving out a career for themselves, even for companies that could care less about an individual’s well being. I’m saddened by the number of emails I get Monday morning that show me people were working (or at least checking email) at all hours of the weekend. WHY????? To advance your career? I understand someone with a talent for painting or composing or writing needs to produce but I’ve seen people in finance, project management, construction, advertising, engineering, working their fingers to the bone to advance their career and not just to make money, but to make a name for themselves. It’s more important than their marriage, their children, their mental, spiritual and physical heath…WHY?????? I have a job which helps me keep a roof over my head and food on the table and pays for the occasional fun thing (like vacations, on which I NEVER check work email). More importantly, I have a family, good friends, spirituality and satisfaction in my non-work life.  What would I need with a career? That would just mess things up.

It's June already?

Actually, we're over halfway done with June (Or June-uary as it's being referred to here, brrr). I realized the other day it's summer tomorrow and I hadn't updated anything for far too long. That doesn't mean I haven't learned anything, just that I haven't written it down. Work has really got to me lately, and some other things and I haven't felt like putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. Apparently I haven't learned how to find a job that won't drag me down mentally and emotionally. So I decided to start a new page. It's really just to explain a little about me and my life and hopefully help some other people to learn some things. If you want to know more, check out my new page about the way I was raised.

Things I’ve Learned About Recommending Stuff

Okay I admit this may be less of a learning experience and more of a pet peeve but I have to get it off my chest. I’m not really one to tell other people what to do since everyone has their own mind, even if some choose not to use it, and their own preferences. It actually makes me nervous to recommend something in case they really hate it, then I’ll feel bad. So I find it better to simply let people know what I’ve enjoyed and they may enjoy it as well. Here’s the pet peeve: I HATE when people tell me, “You HAVE to do (or go, or try, or eat)…” especially if they don’t know me that well. Whether it’s a restaurant or a store or an activity or a place, it just makes me annoyed that someone has the gall to order me to do it. Just because you think it’s the best thing that ever happened doesn’t mean I will. I’ve actually had people be offended when I don’t want to do (or go, or try, or eat) something they’ve said I HAVE to do. Part of this comes from me not liking being told what to do, and part of it comes from experience.  I.e. someone said, “You’re going to (such-and-such city)? OMG, you totally HAVE to try (such-and-such restaurant)!” so I go but I don’t really like it and I tell them that and they’re like, “OMG, But they have the best steaks on the planet!” and I’m all like, “But I HATE steak, so why did you order me to go there again?” Honestly, it amazes me just how many people think their opinion is really so remarkable that everyone else MUST do what they’ve done. That seems like an extraordinary amount of conceit to me. So when someone tells me I HAVE to do something, my first inclination is to put it on my list of things NOT to do. However, my curiosity and my ridiculous need to please everyone gets the better of me so I have started asking people, usually in a nice way, why they are pushing me to do something. Then I can decide if it goes on my ‘NEVER do this’ list. Maybe I’ve just known a lot of bossy people, but I’m just asking that everyone think before they speak especially when it comes to matters of opinion. The fact that we like different things is what makes people so interesting and encourages variety and we’ve all got to remember that

A Support Group for Portlanders Not Portrayed in Portlandia

Yes I'm from Portland and yes I watch Portlandia. To quote Karen from 'Will and Grace', "It's funny 'cuz it's true!" I know some locals who think it's awful and no where near reality and portrays us in a ridiculous way but usually those people hail from the suburbs, don't spend much time in the city. What I'm trying to figure out is where I fit in. I don't think I do, actually, and I'm okay with that. I think what the show does really well is show how people here have made it abnormal to be normal. Not everyone, of course, but enough of the population that one would make a tv show out of it.

So many people here are determined to be an original individual but end up exactly like everyone else in their clique, practically clones of each other. People purposely hunting obscure subcultures, counter cultures, lack of culture, trying desperately to belong to any sort of culture except the one they were raised in or one that appears 'normal' to most of the world. And all these various cliques and groups are presented in this show and it's hilarious.

Then again perhaps I'm just fooling myself when I think I'm not a part of a cloned clique but here it's really not so normal to be like me: I have no tatoos, my navel ring has closed, I have a ring in that little front flap part of my ear but in Portland that's nothing. I don't hang out in coffee shops or bookstores, I don't read every bit of liberal online news that comes out, I don't consider myself a microbrew expert, I don't play in adult playground sports leagues, I'm not a graphic designer, I don't go to First Thursday but I'm not anti First Thursday, I don't like bacon ice cream but I'm not a vegan hippie, I don't own a pair of Toms, I don't make it a point to discuss every new band or every new indie film that comes out, I'm not a rich suburban teen who dresses like a Mad Max extra and comes downtown to panhandle...the list goes on. The only real Portlandia character I can relate to is the Battlestar Galactica loving couple (but then again I didn't go watch it every week at the Baghdad). And I'm okay with that, really.

I'm sure there's a whole city full of normal out there that I can relate to but in the meantime I'll have a ton of fun watching the show and relating it to the people I see in my downtown 'hoods where I live and work. And to the north and east where I shop, hang out, drink and people watch. I may never be fodder for the show but I'll keep watching and cracking up as I see actors I recognize playing parts based on the real characters I see every day.

Keep up the good work, Fred, Carrie, Sam, Kyle, etc.

thanks for the laughs